Ode to Baby Wearing

My husband and I both wore our first child. Mostly when we were outside the house, but sometimes inside too, if he was extra fussy. It calmed him and gave us hands free snuggle time. This time around it's a whole different story. Baby wearing has saved my life, or at least preserved what sanity I still possess.

Infants like to be held. A 2.5 year old needs to be fed, played with, dressed, diapered, cuddled and kissed. Also this mom needs a cup of coffee (or two) in the morning. I also enjoy eating occasionally. All these things happen around here because of a wrap, carrier or sling - depending on the situation.

Here are my mini-reviews on the carriers I own.

Wrap - Moby Wrap - Wraps are pretty much really long pieces of fabric that you can wrap and twist around your body in different ways for different sizes of children and different holds. I really like the Moby for around the house or short jaunts. It keeps Marlowe close against me so there is little jostling and it's not bulky, so I can easily wash dishes or see in front of me to type this blog, for example. It's very versatile. I leave it at home for long walks or times when I know I'll be wearing Marlowe for most of the day because it's fabric and it stretches. So by the end of a couple of hours she is much lower than she was initially, which can cause issues if I'm out and about.


Soft Carrier - Ergo Carrier - This is an easy on, easy off, carrier that has two clips and an insert for infants, to keep them supported until they can hold their heads up on their own. It can be worn on the chest or back, but I personally like the chest option. It's super sturdy and there is no slippage, so it's great for long haul wearing. There's a sun shade and pockets. It's really nicely designed. My only issue is that right now Marlowe's head kind of flops around, it's nothing too concerning though and it doesn't seem to bother her at all.

Ring Sling - I was never too impressed with my ring sling until Beckett got to be a toddler. It's great for hip holding. I would just pop Beckett in at social events and he'd feel like part of the conversation. He stayed entertained and my arm didn't feel like it was going to fall off.

Obviously, you only need one, not three, but the more the merrier. I loved wearing my first baby. I would especially recommend it through that fourth trimester or if you have an early arrival. It promotes bonding and listening to your heart beat while all snuggled up against your chest makes babies who had a rough start, or are just having a hard time adjusting to the outside world, thrive. But for parents who are adding kids 2, 3 or more I am calling the baby wearing apparatus of your choice an absolute must. You will never be happier to have two hands available.

Of course, use caution while sipping that latte and make sure any crumbs from lunch get brushed off of Junior's head afterward. 

Rainy Day Play

I am not a crafty mom. I will pull out the water colors or, if I'm feeling adventurous, the finger paints when weather keeps us indoors, but I don't have the patience to dye rice or make my own play dough. You parents who do are so impressive to me. After you've gone through all the effort to make that green slime for sensory play and your toddler squishes it around until their heart's content - how do you find the time/energy to clean up the mess? I think that's a huge part of my general fear of DIY projects across the board.

Here's a little taste of how we do rainy days in our house with a 2.5 year old and an infant. You'll notice the clean up is minimal.

Vintage kids records. We sing along to the songs and act out parts of the plays, like this one: The Muppet version of the Frog Prince. 

Dress up box in full effect. I cleaned out my closet and put all the old scarves I never wear in a box with Beck's cowboy hats and some felt super hero masks a friend made for him. Endless combinations of fun.

Quiet, solitary play. Marlowe nurses...a lot. There are just some times that I need Beckett involved in something that doesn't require more than hands off supervision from me. He plays very well by himself, not always at the moments I need him to, but often the stars align and his imagination takes over as his playmate.

Puzzles. Big ones. You'd be surprised at how after a time or two with your help, a two year old can put together semi-complex puzzles. Or, at least, I was. It's also awesome to watch how proud he is of himself when he gets the pieces to fit together.

And sometimes rainy days don't mean inside play at all.

 

Gardening Efforts

In addition to growing a baby this spring, I also started growing a garden. It's my first and I'm certainly learning what works and what doesn't. Here is a few photos of what it's looking like today.

We've got kale, arugula and beets in this first one. The arugula is supposed to be super fruitful, but I'm not finding that to be the case. I think I'll plant more next year. My husband made these awesome raised beds out of palettes last fall. I am quite fond of them. 

Besides needing to be weeded, I think the carrots are doing rather well. I am going to pick the lettuce this week sometime. 

Cucumbers love us. It's our heartiest plant by far. 

Gorgeous daylilies that we transplanted last fall from a neighbor. They require little from us, which I like. 

I am so in love with these zinnia. I planted them from seed and they've just shot right up. I couldn't be more pleased. 

Labeling: Attachment Parenting

Gen X is an I'm-not-into-labels generation, who is really into labels. This goes for our society in general, but I notice it a lot among my peers. I have participated in this game myself - "This bar, (which I frequent) is always full of hipsters. Who me? No, I'm not a hipster, I just like the beer selection."

Labels, however, are a part of our culture and like them or not, everyone has some. As I've gotten older, I have become comfortable with most of mine. For example, I'm a Liberal, a vegetarian, a feminist and an attachment parent, to name a few. I get some eye rolls at that last one. I'm always a bit confused by this reaction for two reasons.

Reason one is this - most people are practicing or have practiced at least one aspect of attachment parenting and just don't realize it. They have chosen to breastfeed on demand, wear their baby in a carrier, sleep with their child in the room with them or have decided spanking or screaming wasn't the way they wanted to discipine their children. What I am saying by claiming an attachment parent label is, I have done some research and I am making purposeful choices in an effort to raise an empathetic, self assured kid who will grow to be independent, instead of just leaving it up to chance. I mean nothing is 100%, but I think raising a kid deserves at least as much effort and research as I put into my Masters degree. In my opinon, that's about as nonoffensive as it comes. And if someone is still offended by it once they know what it is? Well that brings me to my second point of confusion.

Reason two - No one said you had to do it. I certainly didn't. To be blunt, I don't give an esse or an effe (pick one) what you do, as long as it doesn't harm others. I'd like the same curtesey. I feel about AP like I feel about being a vegetarian, it works for me and my family and I would never assume any one else was interested, unless they actually showed interest. Like AP, there are people in my acquaintence who are actually angered by vegetarianism. What is it that offends them? The Boca burgers taking up freezer space at the grocery store? No one is taking your cow meat or bacon away, calm down.

Is this all just ignorance or insecurity, perhaps? I'm not sure. I do know no one is judging you. Or rather, if they are judging you that's their problem. Only if you care, does it become yours. So what's my point?

Live and let live or live and let die, if you're a McCartney fan. Label if you must, but let's not put too much weight behind them. And, since I know the judging won't stop, at least do your research and make sure you know the details behind what you judge.

All It Takes Is A MOMent

Whew, okay, here I am. (Smooths wrinkles out of skirt and fluffs hair.) I've returned to the party that is life. I had to take a break there for a minute. My sweet little Marlowe Sawyer arrived 7 weeks early and had a 16 day stay in the NICU. There's a lot of emotions there. I'm still processing. We'll talk later.

The important thing is, she's perfect. And home. And, who would have guessed, easier to parent at this moment than our spirited toddler. 

My point for today, however, is a message to new moms. I just left the house for the first time alone in a month and I feel amazing. In these first weeks of being consumed by my newborn, I totally didn't even notice that I needed a moment to myself.

As I cranked up the AC in the car, rolled down the windows (I know, terrible) and turned up the radio I felt like someone splashed me in the face with a bucket of icy cold water. I felt completely rejuvenated singing along to that new Pharrell, Robin Thicke track - Blurred Lines - I'm sure you've heard it. If not, though, seriously ya'll, check it out. Feel good hit of the summer.

It's crazy how a short drive to get an allergy shot, of all things, can change the feel of the entire day. I highly recommend a mini escape to new moms (all moms) , even if it's just for a few minutes with something that makes you happy, besides your baby. You might not feel like you need it, but you do. Trust.